Tips for a successful yard sale.

A yard sale is a great way to free up some of the clutter in your home, while earning a little extra cash.

Holy crap, where did all this junk come from? Who’s is this? No, we aren’t putting underwear in the yard sale. Seriously? You want to keep that? I’m sure the 60’s will be in fashion again someday. I’m pretty sure we don’t have enough tables to put all this crap, I mean yard sale fodder, on.

Make sure you advertise with poster board signs around your neighborhood at least a week in advance. Be sure to include time, date, location and whether or not your sale will be rain or shine.

Of for frack’s sake. You mean to tell me that I see yarn sale signs up for weeks PAST the date of the yard sale and I put MINE up and one stupid little gust of wind pulls them all down the day AFTER I put mine up? What do you mean you are all out of fluorescent green poster board. No, mustard yellow will be fine. Maybe we’ll get lucky and people will think they are construction signs and follow them…if they can see them.

If you plan on selling clothes, be sure to wash them and fold them nicely before hand. That way they are nice and fresh looking/smelling.

What do you mean the kids don’t have any clean clothes? I have been doing laundry all week! Oh yeah, yard sale laundry. So help me if you climb through the folded clothes one more time Finnigan. Finnigan! Get back in the kitchen with your chocolate pudding!

Give your self plenty of time to price and label all of your items, that way you aren’t rushing around the morning of the sale. A great way to do this is with little color coded dot stickers which can be found in the office supply section of most stores. If you are having your sale with more than one family, each family can pick a specific color dot to mark their items with.

Green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, let’s just burn it all, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots, green dots. Shit, we ran out of green dots. 

Set up as much as you can the night before the sale.

No really, we are only supposed to have tornado “warnings” until midnight. I think we can still set up the tents. A hernia? Cripes! I told you to lift with your knees!

Plan to get up early the day of your yard sale to make any last minute preparations. Remember yard salers come out early! Set your alarm so you can be on time.

Snooze. What do you mean it’s 9:30? Why didn’t you wake me up?

Keep your prices flexible, and you’ll have more successful sales.

Look lady, it’s a brand new, never been worn, still has the tags on it, leather jacket. Yes, I’m sure I won’t take less than $30 for it. Really? A quarter? You want to haggle over something marked for a quarter?

Plan to cover things up or bring them indoors for the night if your sale is more than one day.

What do you mean we are under a tornado watch again?

And finally, plan ahead of time what you will do with anything that does not get sold. Remember to use your earnings wisely.

It’s done? It’s over? Whoo Hoo! Pile everything in the middle of the yard and get the gas can out. Did that AVON cologne sell? Dump that on there! Light that sucker up! Where’s the cash box? Beer run! I am drinking my earnings and doing naked cart wheels around the bonfire while cackling like a mad woman!!!

Aren’t yard sales good old fashioned fun?




4 Responses to Tips for a successful yard sale.

  1. Courtney Kramer says:

    Omgosh! Hilarious! I seriously just laughed for the last 10 minutes! 🙂

  2. Laura says:

    Are you having fun yet???

  3. Linda says:

    LOL!! Too Funny!! Exactly!! Hope you had lots of fun (will have?) and make lots of money — at least for enough beer to get you through the bonfire!!!

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