I believe in God. I believe that a man named Jesus was born many years ago and that, aside from being a wonderful teacher, he was also God made flesh. For the past three years my faith has been shifting and changing. There are so many things in the Christian faith that I just don’t agree with. Most of them are attitudes perpetuated by modern day Christians. I can’t even begin to tell you how sad it makes me to see blind hatred justified as practicing faith. Some are traditions, man made, that have seeped into the church over time. As such, this has left me feeling disillusioned with the modern church. I often feel that we have strayed so very far from Christ’s teachings, from his original message, that what he intended has been long lost in the shuffle. This has made attending church interesting at best and distasteful at worst. I grew up in one denomination, spent several years in the Roman Catholic church, and did quite a bit of denomination hopping since then trying to find a good fit. I have come to accept that there is no perfect church, simply because churches are filled with imperfect people. Who knew right? Sometimes I wish the outside world could see that. That we, as Christians, are just as imperfect and human as the rest. On the other hand, there are some Christians who do a fantastic job of setting that example for the rest of us, Westboro Baptist Church, ahem. In my searching I have learned that it’s not necessarily a particular denomination that draws me, but it’s leader and the attitude of it’s people. It’s amazing how different congregations (who profess to believe in the same laws and bylaws of a particular denomination) can be. And that just goes back to my original point. We are human, blessedly flawed and different. Everyone of us.
Anywho, I guess what I’m trying to say in all of this, is simple. The more I try to understand my faith and God, the less I actually do. I have come to accept that God is beyond my grasp, and well, he’s God, shouldn’t he be beyond my own understanding? He is the creator, I the creation. I sure hope he knows more and better than I do. My faith is pretty simple these days, and from what I read, that’s the way it should be. Jesus really did say it best,“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Both are incredibly simple and straight forward, and both are incredibly, sometimes impossibly hard to do, but I try, and let God’s grace fill in the rest. I’m a Christian, but I’m first and foremost an flawed human.