A letter to my extended family

February 19, 2012

Dear Charlie and Hannibal,

I started this letter over at your mama’s blog in the comments, but then decided against it. That’s her space, and I’m sure that she has her own things she needs to say to you, when she gets the chance, and I don’t want to take away from that. So, in the meantime, I thought I would write you two a letter on your crazy Auntie Tracey’s blog. And I do hope that when you are old enough to read this that I am still in your life, or at the very least you still have fond memories of your nutty surrogate aunt.

Anywho loves, Mama hasn’t written to you in a few days, and that’s because she’s in the hospital. She’s resting (or at the very least, laying in a bed trying not to climb the walls) until you arrive, Hannibal. She’s dealing with a condition called preeclampsia, you can Google it or whatever internet super futuristic search thingy is available to you in the future for looking things up. I just wanted you to know that she’s being well taken care of in the hospital, as well as out. You guys have lots of people in your life that love you, be they family or friends. And everyone swooped in to help when the news came out that Mama was going to have an extended stay.

Sooner than it feels (Casey, if you are reading this, I know you are saying to yourself, “Yeah, bloody, right!”) you will be here Hannibal, Mama will be feeling better, and this small moment in time will be well on it’s way to becoming a memory. We will let Mama decide on what kind of memory, good, bad, or indifferent, it will be filed under. I love you two, I love your Mama and your Daddy, and I miss you all.


Your Crazy Auntie Tracey

P.S. Don’t believe everything your mama says about me. ;o)



February 9, 2012

From Wikipedia

Saudade (European Portuguese: [sɐwˈðaðɨ]Brazilian Portuguese: [sawˈdadʒi]Galician: [sawˈðaðe]; plural saudades)[1] is a unique Galician-Portuguese word that has no immediate translation in English. Saudade describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. It often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never return. It’s related to the feelings of longing, yearning.

This is an emotional state I find myself in again and again. I feel it whenever I pick up a book from the Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings trilogies. As much as I love to read them, they always leave me sad when I finish. There really is nothing more wonderful than the first time you experience a truly epic work like these. That sadness of knowing that you will never feel that new discovery with each book. I think it is this reason, why I can not wait to share these books with my children, especially the boys. I know that Elizabeth, my beautiful Ravenclaw, has read and loved the Harry Potter books and I’m pretty sure she’s read the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

When I pick up one of the books, I am always reminded of things I was experiencing when I first read it. My memories of that time, permanently linked with my memories of the reading of that particular book. The good and the bad. I think that is why I find myself reading through these series year after year.

Saudade, it is a strange and wonderful thing to experience.


What to blog, what to blog…

February 3, 2012

What to blog…I got nothin’. I’m sitting here trying to think of something exciting to tell all you wonderful readers out in blog land and I really can’t think of anything. So, I’m just going to start typing and hopefully something poignant (or at least not incredibly dull) will come out in the end.

Yeah, I really got nothin’ today. The kids haven’t done anything incredibly cute. The same ‘ol same ‘ol family stuff his happening, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Seannan was sick with that awful death plague stomach bug that’s been going around. Finny had his one year check up from when he broke his leg (remember that?) and his bone is looking great, growing the way it’s supposed to. Elizabeth may be starting her first job. I knit some stuff. I picked up the bedroom. We are buying a new memory foam mattress with some of our tax refund, so as to prevent me from becoming homicidal due to lack of sleep and back pain. Yep, my life is so exciting I can hardly stand it. And that’s all I got.

And now I’m really going to blow it and hit “publish”.

A poem for my long lost love

January 31, 2012

Yes, my love. You are gone, gone from my life.

Ah, but while you were here our love blossomed. I slept soundly at night, held in your comforting embrace. You always knew how to hold me, supportive.

But that was just how you were, our relationship built on support, the give and take I needed to feel comfortable with you.

From the very first moment I met you, I knew you were meant for me. Made for me even. It was fate that we should meet, that cold February night, so long ago.

The first night I slept with you, it was amazing. Waking up with you, the next morning, I knew this was it. You were the one.

But you were hiding a nasty secret, your dark underbelly, rotting out of site. Maybe it wasn’t there at first, when our love was new. Yet, over time, you hid this side of yourself from me.

And then, finally, when your dark side was brought to light. I cried. I cried, for the loss of trust. The loss of your love. I cried because I knew what must be done.

I must say goodbye to you.

Now that you are gone, my nights are sleepless. I toss and turn trying to find that same comfort again. I wake each morning exhausted, in pain, wishing for your touch again and hating the one who replaced you.

My dearest Serta Memory Foam mattress, why, why did you betray me so…


Beauty blogger to be?

January 25, 2012

Probably not, however, I wanted to pass something on. I have always had red skin, I’m pretty sure I have mild rosacea, although I’ve never been to a dermatologist to find out. My skin is very sensitive. I break out from so many different things. Mary Kay is something I won’t touch with a ten foot pole. Many cheaper cosmetics. Cleansers especially, even some of the ‘natural’ formulas. It is very rare for me to wash my face and not have it feel tight or itchy or burning or all of the above. Anything specifically geared towards acne usually burns my face and leaves me with an awful rash. Even with some of the really mild things I’ve used in the past every now and then my skin would pitch a fit and have a reaction.

Physicians Formula is a brand that I have never had a problem with, although until very recently, they’ve only made make up. This past fall (2011) they branched out into the cosmeceutical skincare market. They have three different formulas in their line. Their Sensitivity & Redness formula caught my eye.

Physicicans Formula – Skin Concern – Sensitivity & Redness

I picked up the moisturizer, as that’s usually the safest for me to try first. It is a very light formula, non greasy, and tinted mint green. I was very surprised at how well it moisturized for how light it is. And, as advertised, I did notice that my skin was less red right away. My skin felt great and I woke up the next morning with super soft skin. So I went back and grabbed the cleanser. I figured I would give it a try too. It’s great! Seriously, I don’t care if it ever diminishes my redness or not. Just the fact that I can use a cleanser that actually:  cut through my make up, rinses clean without leaving an oily film on my face, rinses clean without leaving my skin feeling tight, is worth it. And it doesn’t hurt! This is the first time I can remember, even using the gentlest cleansers, where my face didn’t feel like I had scrubbed it with an S.O.S. pad when I was done. My face felt smooth, clean, and soft…and it wasn’t red. When I wash my face it’s always bright red when I’m done. Not this time. I think I’m going to pick up the rest of the line and maybe a couple products from the other formulas in the line. I’m curious to see if it will actually diminish the red in my skin over time. For now, I’m just happy to have something so gentle on my mug!

The only drawback is that you can only buy it online or at WalMart. WalMart is taking over the world.

A picture of me.

January 23, 2012

With the new FB timelines you get to add a snazzy ‘cover’ picture to it. A lot of people are posting pictures of things that interest them, family, places where the live. Here’s mine, a picture of me.

This took several tries to get it right, and I really do think it’s pretty accurate. Although, I wish I had put a tube of hair glue in their somewhere.

Cherish every *blessed* moment

January 20, 2012

You know how when you have kids, every now and again, someone will remind you to cherish each moment. Because the next thing you know they will be grown up, and you will be missing those days. My best friend and I were just asking if we really had to cherish every moment? Because there are some moments that I am so ready to not cherish. Like the time Finn wiped poop on the bathroom wall. Or when I put Finn in timeout and he’s crying and Seannan decides to come over and put his nose on the wall and I shoo him away and he starts crying because he *wants* to be in timeout. Or how about those days when you didn’t get enough sleep and your kids have you up at the butt crack of dawn and you just want to go back to bed. Yep. Apparently, women get really bored once their kids grow up, because you’ve got to be bored to look back on those moments and cherish them. Or maybe it’s just that at that point our children have turned our brains to Spam.